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How possible is it that we can live our lives on our terms?

It is possible. But before I say how is it possible, let’s look at reality on the ground. I must agree that we can never live life absolutely on our terms.

Why not absolutely?

Government controls us and what we do in many ways. We are expected to pay taxes even if we don’t want the wars they finance.

Our families have some form of control over us or the mere reason they are family has a bearing on what we do or want to do.

Our neighbours influence us on which schools to send our children to or which TV model to buy.

Society through its norms, traditions, religions etc has a way of controlling us.

Marketers through their tricky psychology are manipulating us to buy things we don’t need more ever than before.

Banks are dangling the money carrot with all forms of debt.

BUT relative to the reasons above, we can live life on our terms.

This is how we can do it in three ways.

Photo by Miguel Bruna on Unsplash

1. Believe in yourself no matter what

Blaise Pascal, French Physicist & Mathematician said these profound words;

“I bring you the gift of those four words: I believe in you”

The French man believes in you and in us. Do you believe in yourself?

People believe in people who believe in themselves. You take control of your circumstances if you first take control of yourself. The first step in the game of control is belief in oneself. When you believe in yourself, you are able to counter anyone who wants to take control of you or your circumstances. Say the four words flipped over – I believe in myself.

When people believe in themselves, they acknowledge to themselves that they will achieve their wants or dreams regardless of obstacles on the way- and live life on their terms.

 

2. Own your personal choices

It is your life anywhere so it isn’t surprising that you must own your personal choices. The choices we make, make us. And the choices others make for us can make us if we allow them. One anonymous author whose words of wisdom go un-credited, had this to say;

“No one has power over you unless you give it to them, you are in control of your life and your choices decide your own fate”.

 

3. Verify information

Information is power. It is the power that can be used to take control of your mind. There is a saying (though I don’t know who said it) that “Those who wield information wield the sword of the 21^st century”.

There is so much lying these days that it is difficult to pick the truth from lies, half lies or half-truths. Information is generated at warp speeds and that makes it difficult to make sense of it. That being said, we can’t just become slaves to information; we need to take charge of what we want to believe in or not believe in. The first step in that direction is to verify information.

The man of the moment, Marcus Aurelius (121 -180 AD), Roman Emperor & Stoic Philosopher captures the issue of information at a different time in history, at the early stages of the first millennia.

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth”

 

4. Sometimes Say No to people

It is tough to have to leave your stuff and work on what is not yours. As we only have 24 hours a day. But some people don’t seem to see it that way; they feel you have all the time to do their stuff. Today we have a bonanza of wisdom from anonymous authors, here is one of them had to say.

“I refuse to please others at the expense of my emotional well-being. Even if it means saying no to people who are used to hearing yes.”

Say no and live life on your terms.

 

5. Take Care of your Health

We have only one body. The body is not only physiological but also houses our mind –the most powerful tool we have at our disposal (if natured well and employed correctly). This one body that has to carry us throughout our lives. Once it gets damaged we can’t move into another body. It is therefore imperative that we invest more resources and time caring for it. What we can do immediately is – ignore food marketers and stop throwing junk in the name of food into our bodies (easier said than done but it can be done). If we can service our bodies more than we service our cars, we can take control of our bodies from aspirin addiction.

Disclaimer: Don’t take me seriously here, I am not a physician or dietician. My advise though correct is for your information only. So ALWAYS consult appropriate medical personnel regarding your health issues.

Now you know. You have only one body take control of and live life on your terms.

I leave you with this quote by Martial (40 – 104 AD), Roman Poet to muse over.

“Life is not merely being alive, but being well”.

Thank you for reading.

We are a new blog and as such we value your comments and feedback.

Failure is something we have to expect and learn from its consequences once it is with us. In fact we fail a lot of the time – and it happens whilst we are not even aware we are failing. We notice or acknowledge failure when we have failed at something as big as business, marriage or career choice. A single factor or combination of many may cause us to fail. In this post I will touch only on one thing that is nudging us toward failure a lot of the time.

Here is the one thing you must do to constantly fail and fail fast – that is blindly chase after every passing opportunity.

“Blindly chase after every passing opportunity” approach to life is driven by “everybody is doing it mentality”. The validation is simple and straight – everybody is doing it.  There was one university which offered great part-time programs and they still do – many jumped into the bandwagon and enrolled. How many graduated? Very very very few. An investment scam offering great returns on money invested appeared out of nowhere and appeared to be global. Many people I know went in – and made some tidy money for about two or three months (possible baiting period) and suddenly owners who appeared to be headquartered in Europe vanished into thin air with all the investments people had put in.

“Blindly chase after every passing opportunity” is a globally embraced mentality.

We never pause to evaluate opportunities if they are fit for us or if they are legit.

Now here it’s me.

A little over decade ago, I went into a pub business. Owning a pub was the in-demand and some status opportunity (more like in the dotcom days) that everyone else was going after. My decision was informed by “everybody is doing it” mentality. I never evaluated the opportunity against my personal circumstances I just waded in. Few days after opening, being a sin business, the pub attracted clients with questionable characters. They would fight and break windows most of the time. On Saturdays they would refuse to leave the pub even after municipally gazetted closing time thus effectively keeping me and employees hostages. Hot tempered as I was then, I couldn’t beat my clients and anywhere if I tried some of them would have reduced me to pulp. The business was also taking the time I had allocated for my personal life. I arrived home at 12 midnight every day and in the morning at 0700 I had to be at my day job. With time, I gradually got stressed and my health deteriorated due to lack of sleep. Constant fines by cops and dressing down by land-lord (a hot head) didn’t help my situation. I closed within 6 months despite the business being profitable.

To add salt to injury, this pub opportunity came hot on heels after another “everybody is doing it” opportunity – selling perfumes – which I failed at miserably. Reason for the failure. Typical of “everybody is doing it opportunity “, there were too many players owing zero-barrier to entry.

Though this article is written with a tone that sounds negative, it is actually not meant to discourage you and others from being brave, proactive or seizing opportunities but to say let’s evaluate opportunities coming our way.

I will leave you with this quote by Marcus Aurelius (121 -180 AD), Roman Emperor & Stoic Philosopher to ponder over.

“The object of life is not to be on the side of the masses, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane”.

Thank you for reading.

If you have time you may drop us a comment or feedback on the article.

This is my first post of 2019. I am thrilled to be back from two month hiatus. I hope you are doing fine and great.

Our first post for 2019 is about two excuses that I often hear advanced by many people, both young and old.
 I am still young to begin.
 I am too old to begin.
These excuses are two sides of the same coin of ‘age excuses’. Like other excuses which are not the subject of this post, they debilitate us from taking firm decisions and actions on things we desire to have.
But what is an excuse?
An excuse is basically an act of justifying to oneself and others, why one can’t take action even the one they know is in their best interest. Age has been used throughout history as an excuse to do something by people.
During his times, Greek Playwright, Euripides had this to say about age;

“Youth is the best time to be rich, and the best time to be poor”
As long as we are physically and cognitively capable, age shouldn’t really matter.

Let’s investigate this one;
I AM STILL YOUNG TO BEGIN.

Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash

Actually when one is young that is the best time to start as you have vitality and time at their disposal.
It is the best time to contribute to your pension.
It is the best time to travel the world and learn.
It is the best time to start a business.
I guess (I am not sure) it may be the best time to get married.
Some of the biggest multinationals such as Microsoft, Facebook and Apple were started by people in their youth. I am citing the Microsoft, Facebook and Apple examples as they are easy to relate to. But there are many youngsters who are doing good throughout the world that we don’t get to read about. And they didn’t offer age as an excuse not to begin.
One player got offered a contract with a top European football club. Despite the advice of his manager and agent, that he accepts the offer- he declined citing his youthful age.
He said “Chill, great offers will come”. And the offers never came. Within 5 years of the incident, he was forgotten as a star footballer in his country. The “I am still young” excuse cost him a lucrative career in Europe.
As recent as 2016, I read about a child (below age ten years) running a business exclusively to fund Save the Rhino campaign. I was genuinely moved by the bravery to able to begin. Beginning is not easy.
But if she can begin; teens can, young adults can and adults can.
You are not too young or too old to begin.

If you are young, and reading this post; you are not too young to begin.

The second excuse…
I AM TOO OLD TO BEGIN.

Photo by eberhard grossgasteiger on Unsplash

As long as you are physically, cognitively and with sound memory, age shouldn’t be an issue at all.
Why should a person in his fifties advance old age as an excuse not to do something worthwhile?
There are many old-agers who are community leaders, activists, authors, speakers and expert consultants well into their 90s.
Ronald Reagan, the 40th President of the United States, became the president when he was 70 years old.

He never said I am too old to run for the presidency.
To conclude, since you are not wine or cheese, your age as an excuse not to begin does not cut it and should not.

1. Just Do It – Nike Slogan
2. Indecision becomes decision with time – Unknown Author
3. All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty – Proverbs 14:23 Holy Bible
4. It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end – Leonardo da Vinci (Italian Artist & Scientist)
5. Delay not to seize the hour – Aeschylus (Greek Tragedian)
6. God  has  promised  forgiveness to your repentance, but He has not  promised  tomorrow  to your procrastination  –  St. Augustine of Hippo (North  African  Roman  Bishop  & Philosopher)

 

 

Photo by Nicole Honeywill on Unsplash

7. Procrastination is opportunity’s natural assassin – Victor Kermit Kiam II (American entrepreneur)
8. He who begun has half done. Dare to be wise; begin – Quintus Horatius Flaccus (Roman Poet)
9. The two rules of procrastination: 1) Do it today. 2) Tomorrow will be today tomorrow – Unknown Author
10. Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him – Charles Dickens (English Writer)
11. Unhappy he who does this work adjourn, And to tomorrow would the search delay: His lazy morrow will be like today. But is one day of ease too much to borrow? Yes, sure: for yesterday was once tomorrow- Perseus (Greek Hero)
12. The best way to get something done is to begin – Unknown Author
13. 13. What deserves to be put off are procrastination and excuses – Holbrook Jackson (British Journalist, Writer & Publisher)
14. Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle – Abraham Lincoln (American Statesman 16^th President of the United States of America)
15. How soon not now, becomes never – Martin Luther (German Theologian & Religious Reformer)
16. Take time to deliberate; but when the time for action arrives, stop thinking and go in – Napoleon Bonaparte (French Statesman)
17. Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well – Mark Twain (American Writer)
18. We all sorely complain of the shortness of time, and yet have much more than we know what to do with. Our lives are either spent in doing nothing at all, or in doing nothing to the purpose, or in doing nothing that we ought to do. We are always complaining that our days are few, and acting as though there would be no end of them – Lucius Annaeus Seneca (Roman Philosopher & Statesman)
19. You may delay, but time will not, and lost time is never found again – Benjamin Franklin (American Statesman & Printer)
20. If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done- Bruce Lee (Martial Arts Actor)

Recently I stumbled across a 23 page PDF titled: 10 Business Lessons to Learn from Baseball. The PDF has no author credited with writing it, no website and no contacts such as phone number. From Google search results, I believe the PDF could have originated from martymarsh.com. The PDF was a great read and very inspirational. After reading and re-reading it I asked myself – why not write something similar from another sport? I asked which sport. Football (soccer). Because I support Juventus FC. No because football (soccer) is the most supported sport in the world with 3.5 billion fans. Though football (or soccer) is a sport that primarily entertains us, but it is an awesome avenue with life inspiring lessons to draw from.

LESSON 1: THE FOOTBAL SEASON IS A LENGTHY ONE

An average football (soccer) season is about nine months of intensive game playing. Teams have to endure all the nine months and come out better at the end of the season. You may have heard of team which started the season spectacularly and ended the season lowly placed – because they didn’t prepare for a long season.

Life is also a lengthy season and much longer than a football’s. And as such we have to build enough stamina to sustain our stay and perform at the best possible level.

LESSON 2:  EVERY MINUTE OF THE GAME COUNTS

The team has to perform to their absolute best every ninety minutes (plus added time) of the match. If the team fails to perform on the 91^st minute of the match they may be punished with a goal against them. Manchester United (VS Bayern Munich in the final of the 1999 European Champions League season) scored two quick goals in 3 added minutes to lift the championship. Every minute of the game mattered including added time.

We have only 1440 minutes a day and all the minutes count.

It is imperative that we use our time wisely and productively.

LESSON 3: EVEN IF YOU ARE BEHIND IN THE GAME UNDERSTAND THAT COME BACKS ARE POSSIBLE

Manchester United came from behind to win the Euopean CL championship. Many teams have come from behind to win championships. We all have set backs in our lives but that shouldn’t deter us from staying the course. By staying the course and perform to our best then we can bounce back from any set back.

Even if you are down on your luck know that comebacks are possible.

LESSON 4: TO SCORE THE GOALS PLAYERS HAVE TO MAKE ATTEMPTS AT SCORING

The chances are any football player who shies away from attempting to score will likely not a score a goal during the game. Like in football, in life we need to take the initiative to make things happen. Without action nothing ever happens.

Take the shot and make things happen.

Photo by Peter Glaser on Unsplash

LESSON 5: THE MORE PLAYERS PLAY, THE MORE THEY GET BETTER AT PLAYING THE GAME

You may have heard of players who fell out with their coaches because of lack of game time. They know without game time they will not get better.

A writer who doesn’t write will not get better at his/her writing craft.

A coder who doesn’t practice coding will not get better at his/her coding craft.

If we don’t play we get rusty at our trade.

LESSON 6: PLAYERS IGNORE FAN AND MEDIA CRITICISM AND CONTINUE PLAY THE GAME

Football players and coaches are some of the most criticized people in the planet. Some fans’ criticism has transitioned into violence. But players have not quit rather they continued playing until their play or the team’s play got better.

Like football players you will be criticized for merely playing the game of life. You will be criticized for deciding to start and run your business.

LESSON 7: PLAYERS PLAY BETTER WITH A COACH WHO UNDERSTANDS THE GAME

The coach is the most important person in the game of football. Because the coach is able to take a bunch of players and merge them into a football winning machine. Because the coach is able to take a wayward player and turn him/her into a winning footballer. Italian coach Claudio Ranieri turned a bunch of average players who had narrowly avoided relegation the season before at Leicester City into an EPL championship winning team of the 2015/2016 season.

Because he understood the game much better.

In life we need people who understand the game of life or business to guide us in the winning direction. Without a coach to guide us we may get lost several times before finding the winning direction.

Whist we are responsible for taking the shot, life coaches and mentors can save us time by guiding us in the right direction.

LESSON 8: TAKE BREAKS

In football breaks are taken- within the game itself, within the season and between one season and the next. Breaks allow players and the team to recharge their batteries for greater performance in the half.

We are not machines that can work continuously without tiring. Humans need to take breaks in between tasks and in between days to recharge our physical and mental batteries. Just like a tired player can’t deliver in the pitch, a tired person can’t deliver in the game of life.

Take breaks in between tasks and in between projects.

LESSON 9: DROPS IN PERFORMANCE WILL HAPPEN

There is hardly any player who has not experienced drop in performance. Even top players have experienced drops in performance. Lionel Messi has experienced drop in performance. Christian Ronaldo has experienced drop in performance. Whilst it is frustrating to experience drops in performance, we need to appreciate that happens to all of us.

We only need to find out why and take appropriate action.

If it is mental or physical exhaustion find time to rest.

If it is family matters attend to them.

LESSON 10: THERE WILL BE LOSSES (OR FAILURES) ALONG THE SEASON

Think of AC Milan of the late 80s early 90s at the height of their powers. Think of FC Barcelona or Real Madrid at their best. At their best these teams have won over 90% of their season games. What about the 10% (or less) matches they didn’t win? To them those only serve as lessons for further improvement because for they know even the best lose sometimes.

In life just like in football, losses or failures are inevitable.  We fail because we started something in life. We can’t fail in anything if we never started it. We fail high school or college because we enrolled at college or high school. Learn from your failure and adjust accordingly. If it is a project that you have to abandon then apply the lessons learned in future endeavors.

Thank you for reading.

Writer: Boiki Keaitaya